ARRRGGGGG!!!!!!!

I swear Alton cannot even come here to drop off money to pay bills without starting an argument! It's so ridiculous. He has got soooooo much pent up anger towards me it isn't even funny. I wish he could just somehow release it and then maybe things could head to getting better. But he is so hard headed and stubborn that it will never happen. I have finally made the decision to get the divorce going. I was waiting for him to make the first move since he wanted this so badly, but I'm not sure what he's waiting for. I'm just tired of sitting and wondering what's going to happen with my life, so I went and got things started the other day. I've told him this, and I don't think he believes me. He's supposed to be served with his papers early next week. Then he's really going to hate me even more, because his shop in the morning is the only place that I know where he is at a certain time, so that's where they will have to serve him. He won't tell me where he is at any other time like in the evening after work. So that's how it has to be. Let me just tell you....this is the single most hardest and saddest thing that I have ever had to do in my life! I don't wish this on my worst enemy! I keep thinking how I've pictured Alton and I growing old and gray together, and now that won't be happening. Then I was looking at old pictures tonight from when we first met. That was such a magical time! I wish I could rewind and go back to those times even if it was for just a day. He made me feel sooooo good then. Like I was the only person on earth and I was all that mattered. I wish I could remember when that feeling went away. When everything else became so much more important. So to everybody who reads this and have a relationship please take this advise....Don't ever forget to make sure your significant other knows how special they are to you. More then just saying I Love You.