ARRRGGGGG!!!!!!!

I swear Alton cannot even come here to drop off money to pay bills without starting an argument! It's so ridiculous. He has got soooooo much pent up anger towards me it isn't even funny. I wish he could just somehow release it and then maybe things could head to getting better. But he is so hard headed and stubborn that it will never happen. I have finally made the decision to get the divorce going. I was waiting for him to make the first move since he wanted this so badly, but I'm not sure what he's waiting for. I'm just tired of sitting and wondering what's going to happen with my life, so I went and got things started the other day. I've told him this, and I don't think he believes me. He's supposed to be served with his papers early next week. Then he's really going to hate me even more, because his shop in the morning is the only place that I know where he is at a certain time, so that's where they will have to serve him. He won't tell me where he is at any other time like in the evening after work. So that's how it has to be. Let me just tell you....this is the single most hardest and saddest thing that I have ever had to do in my life! I don't wish this on my worst enemy! I keep thinking how I've pictured Alton and I growing old and gray together, and now that won't be happening. Then I was looking at old pictures tonight from when we first met. That was such a magical time! I wish I could rewind and go back to those times even if it was for just a day. He made me feel sooooo good then. Like I was the only person on earth and I was all that mattered. I wish I could remember when that feeling went away. When everything else became so much more important. So to everybody who reads this and have a relationship please take this advise....Don't ever forget to make sure your significant other knows how special they are to you. More then just saying I Love You.

The future

Well, the shock of the fact that I am going to be a divorced woman has worn off. Now I have the worry as to what to do next. Should I go back to school, should I just try to find a full time job, should I just wait until the divorce is final. There are sooooo many questions. I have started looking for a job, and have had one interview so far, but the pay is not even close to being enough to support myself. Plus I am still waiting for Alton to make his move as far as filing for the divorce. As of yesterday he still hadn't. I talked to a lawyer that I really like and will go with when need be. She said I can make the first move if want to, but, I don't want this in the first place so I'll wait on him. Please keep me in your prayers that God will be me the strength I need and lead me in the right direction.

Life sure can take some crazy twists in a short amount of time. A couple weeks ago I was getting ready for a vacation to South Carolina, and now I'm getting ready to go through a divorce. I'm not going to go into all of the gory details, but I am just so sad. It's similar to a death in the family to me. I'm losing my best friend, my confidant, my life partner! I'm 30 years old with no job, or education and am probably going to have to move back into my parents house. I just can't get over that. I really should have seen this coming, because it's been going to happen for quite some time now. It's just finally came to a head I suppose. So please to whom ever reads this, please keep us in your prayers that we can get through this. Thank you!

Still waiting..........

Yes, we are STILL waiting to hear if the bank has accepted our offer on the house!! We thought they had accepted it, but then something happened and they needed more time. This totally sucks. We will be leaving on vacation to South Carolina next week, so I hope we hear something before then!!!!

Yesterday I turned the BIG 3-0! Hard to believe! I'm getting OLD! LOL My family came to our house for cake and ice cream. It was nice. Alton got me a beautiful white gold and diamond bracelet. I love it, but I told him we need to save every penny for the house. He says I'm worth it. LOL I also went shopping with my Mom to help her get food for my brother's graduation party that is Saturday. Hopefully it don't rain. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

June 10th

This past week my youngest brother Jim graduated from high school. Then last night my younger sister Jill graduated from college with an Accoiates in Applied Science. She's going to be a pharmacy tech. I always have told her she would graduate from college before me, and I was right!!! It's so hard to believe that they are at these ages! Sure makes me feel old!!

Heard from our real estate agent earlier in the week, and she told us that the listing agent of the house we want is putting in under pending sale status. So that means nobody else can look at the property. Supposedly that is a really good sign for us. Hopefully we hear tomorrow weather or not the bank has accepted our offer!

Not much going on for the weekend. Alton came home from work last night with a sore throat and body aches, so he was on the couch all evening. He feels better today, but not totally himself yet. Other then that there's not much else to tell!

Goings on....

We got an update on the house we want to buy today. It's seemed that we would never hear anything, and we still don't know everything. Anyhow, since the house is in foreclosure both the bank and the owners have a say. Soooooo, the owners have accepted our offer. The bank has not yet. They want to do an appraisal and look over the figures. Mostly to see what they will be losing if they take our offer. Our realtor says that the listing agent made it sound really positive! So that's exciting to know! More then likely though we won't know anything before next week. Our realtor put in the agreement that we wanted to know by Friday, but since we are dealing with the bank they work on their bankers hours. Keeping our fingers crossed.

I also found out today that I am losing my babysitting job already:>(. I guess they are going to put the kids in day care. I'm sad! I really liked doing it!

Exciting!

This weekend is going to be very exciting for us. We are going to make an offer on a house that we've been keeping our eye on for the past month. Alton has been trying to sell our 1971 Cutlass, so that we would have some extra funds in our bank, and it finally sold this week!!! So Sunday we will make an offer. The house is an old farm house with 10 acres. It has been almost completely remodeled and it has four out buildings! The property is beautiful and the school district is really good! So keep your fingers crossed for us that we get it! We are starting with a very low bid, so they will counter offer no doubt. The house is in foreclosure, so the owners are anxious to be out from under it, so we'll see what happens! The one problem is that it is going to need some work before we can move into it, because the owners moved to Florida, and their real estate agent never went there very often--the heat was turned down so low that the base board heating pipe in one of the upstairs bedrooms froze and burst causing water to fall onto the downstairs living room ceiling making all the drywall fall on the carpet. thank goodness Alton is a plumber and can fix all that himself! Plus get the parts he needs free in the process! I'll keep you posted on what happens!!

Mr. Turkey

Today was cleaning day and my Grandpa's house. While I was there the craziest thing happened.....I was walking by the dining room window and when I looked out I saw the most humongous turkey at the bird feeder. I could not believe it! So my Grandpa says to go see if I can give it some corn. (He's always stocked with corn and bird seed.) So Dylan and I go out to give it some corn. I told Dylan he had to be very quiet. Well, we took one step out the door and Dylan says super loud...There he is Mommy! So of course the turkey starts to go down this big hill that is in the yard. I couldn't see him at first. Then I tried to go towards him with the corn and he took off into the field behind the house. That turkey ran soooooo fast! I would have never guessed that it could move that quick! Something out of the ordinary today anyhow!

Anniversary

Alton and I celebrated our sixth anniversary yesterday. Unfortunately Alton had to work, but he was off by about 6:00, so we were able to go out for a nice dinner alone. Then we came home and did our annual lighting of our unity candle that we used for our wedding. Dylan spent the night at Grandpa and Grandma White's house. So we had a nice quiet evening. Hard to believe we've been married six years already! Hard to believe we've been together for 13!!! Time sure does fly!

The Troops

Have you ever tried to get three kids to all look at the same time to get a picture? What a joke right? LOL This picture was taken on the first day of my new babysitting job. From left to right...Eric, Gavin and Dylan. I am soooooo happy that I have finally learned how to get a picture in my blog! Although it does look a little funny. Oh well, at least it's there! The day went really good. Dylan and Eric play great together, and Gavin is a content baby. I had forgotten what it was like to actually have to hold a child in my arms to feed him! It HAS been a couple years ya know! LOL But it was nice to do that again! So I think the sitting is going to work out good!

A First for Dylan

Yesterday Dylan went just about all day in his "big boy underwear" for the first time! And no accidents at all believe it or not. I did put a diaper on him when he went down for his nap though. I even forgot he was diaper less and took off to CVS without a thought about it until we got into the CVS parking lot. I kept telling him to please not potty in his pants, and he didn't! We weren't there long though. I am so proud of him. Today we are going to see the doctor. Dylan and I have both had a cold. Really bad coughing and runny noses. This morning he's been complaining about his ear. I lost some hearing from an ear infection so I called the doctor. Hopefully we can get something to knock this cough out of him. It's the kind that just burns your chest!!

And some news about me....I may be taking on another "job" next week. My cousin asked me to babysit her kids one day a week, so I said yes. So along with cleaning for my Grandpa and babysitting I will be actually making an income again! YAY!! It feels good to be making some money after being without a job(out of the home) after almost four years! I just hope the baby sitting works out. My cousin's youngest who is 5-6 months old is kinda picky on who he likes. So we'll see! Wish me luck!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everybody! Although last night from the looks of it with all the snow coming down, it seemed like Santa should have been coming! LOL The Easter Bunny was very good to Dylan. Of course he got a ton of candy in his basket, along with the Peter Pan movie, a mini kite and a couple of Easter books. I don't think Dylan really understood that the Easter Bunny filled his basket and left it though. And he didn't understand how to find his basket either. Alton ended up having to show him that it was hidden behind our recliner. Oh well, maybe next year right? Anyway, I hope you all have a nice day today! Happy Easter!

Hospitalized again

Well, my Dad got himself a weekend stay at the hospital this morning. I guess he woke up about three a.m. vomiting and had a high fever. He was also talking "out of his mind". So my Mom took him to emergency. They think he once again has an infection in one of the sores on his leg that has yet to heal totally. So he's getting antibiotics. He also has a touch of pneumonia. So hopefully he gets to come home soon, but they have guaranteed he will be there at least until Monday. We'll see.

On a good note....I saw the first Robin of the season today. A sure sign Spring is here! YAY!!!

Taste of Spring

Yesterday was a beautiful day as far as weather goes. Sunny and warm! We got to 73 degrees. A taste of Spring just enough to get everybody into Spring fever mode. Dylan got to ride his new bike and swing. we were out side for most of the day. It was nice to not have to wear the bulky winter coats. Unfortunately though we are cloudy and at 55 right now, and they are saying snow for tomorrow! YUCK!! Oh well, I knew it wouldn't last. Just have to wait a little bit longer.

I got a sympathy card in the mail a couple days ago for my Grandma's passing and I want to share the verse that is in it....

"She is Just Away"

She is just away, in a land of light and peace,
Where warmth and love abound and worldly
difficulties cease.......

She is just away, but her memory remains and the
love she left within your heart will help ease your pain.

Then is goes on to say....May her memory live on and on as your sorrow fades away.

I love that sooooooo much. It is so true! Thank you so much Uncle Les and Aunt Margaret fro sending that card! It has helped me soooo much!

Sick again

I don't know what it is about this year, but I have been sick about five times so far. I never usually get sick! I think I have ANOTHER sinus infection! It started last night with a headache and today one side of my nose is stuffed up and the other is running! When I went to clean for my Grandpa today he sounded stuffy too. I hope I didn't give it to him. It seems we may have gotten it at the same time.

I heard today on the news that Spring is on its way here. We may reach 50 degrees this weekend! Dylan will be so happy! He's been dying to ride his bike that Santa brought for him outside! He's been riding it in the house, but with our dinky house there's only one path he can take. Of course its in the way of everything and of course he wants to ride when I am trying to get things done! So we are constantly in each others way. LOL Hopefully the weather man is right!!

Feels weird

Yesterday I went to visit with my Grandpa and to clean for him. It feels really weird that my Grandma is not there asking if I want something to drink or soemthing to eat. Or that she's not there sitting and talking with us. Monday night was the first night that my Grandpa had to stay in the house alone. I said he didn't get much sleep and what he did get was in his recliner. He couldn't sleep in bed. I can totally understand that. It was feel extra strange for him not having my Grandma next to him. They were married for 54 years and were praobably apart at night only a handfull of times. I'm not sure if it was becasue he was so tired or just because he was feeling depressed, but he was super quiet. Yesterday was a week since my Grandma has been gone. :>( Tomorrow I'm going to clean again. I have been hired as the cleaning lady. Next week I'm going to start doing it on Monday's and Thursdays. Everybody thought it was a good idea for me to do it since I am home all day. We both will benefit for it. He insists on paying me, so I will have some extra "play money" and he will have company from us. Plus the rest of the family will know his laundry ect. is getting done. One less worry for them. Today I ran a couple errands and cleaned our house and did laundry. Fun Fun!

A sad few days

It has been a very difficult time for the past few days. My Grandma collapsed on Tuesday evening and paramedics were not able to revive her. It just seems so crazy to me. Tuesday was "Fat Tuesday", so that morning my Grandma had a group of people to her house for a Pazcki party.(sp) After everybody had left and she cleaned up from that my Grandpa said she tried to lay down for a rest and could not get comfortable. So finally she gave up trying to sleep and vacuumed the house. Then a few hours after that she was leaving to go to her sister-in-laws house for dinner. On the way she figured she's put a bag of garbage in the can at the end of the driveway. Well, she went to turn around and grab the bag out of her van and she had a Terrible pain go up and down her back. She told someone that she had to sit in the van to catch her breath it hurt so much. She just thought that she had twisted wrong. Then later after dinner she went into the bathroom and didn't come out for a while. My great aunt went to check on her and did not get any response so she went in and my grandma had collapsed onto the bathroom floor. I guess the paramedics tried every drug and thing possible, but she never came back. It was decided that she would not have a autopsy to find out the real cause, but her doctor figured it was a massive heart attack. BUT, my Grandma get a journal and we read some of the recent entries and on February 5th she wrote that she was having pain in her back and didn't remember twisting it or anything. So when we told the doctor that, he said that maybe she had and aortic aneurysm.

My Grandma was the most loving, sweetest lady that you could have ever known. She never put herself first at all. Everything was always about everybody else. Everybody keeps telling me how she's in a better place now, but I think she would be better off here!!!! I miss her dearly! Thank you to everybody who emailed me with your condolences!!!

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!!! We celebrated ours last night when Alton got home from work. He said he didn't want to have to wait all day today to give me flowers since he won't be home until late tonight. By then Valentine's Day is pretty much over. He got me a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers. So pretty! Dylan and I got him some candy. Nothing outrageous. Just enough to show we remembered each other on this "day of love". LOL In addition we are having a Valentine's Day snow storm too! Last night they were saying 6-10 inches. I think we got about 6. It's still snowing a little, but at least the sun is out.

Moving on to other news.....I couldn't believe this one.....I received an email on my classmates.com message center this morning. For those who don't know what that is, it's a website you can sign up to and read about people that you went to high school ect. with. Well, this girl who used to be my next door neighbor and VERY good friend sent me a message telling me all about herself. We haven't spoken in about 10-12 years. The reason we haven't spoken is because she got involved with gangs and drugs ect. Plus to top it off; while my parents were on vacation about 7 years ago, her and her buddies decided to break into my parents house and clean them out and trash the house. We know for sure it was her that did it, because we watched from my parents bedroom window while they took my Dad's hunting rifles out of her house WRAPPED UP IN THE AFGHAN THAT MY MOM MADE THAT WAS ON THE BACK OF THEIR COUCH. Now how in the world after all that is she going to try to act like nothing ever happened and send an chatty email about herself and how she misses everybody. COME ON!!!! Now, I want to ask you what should I do??? Should I write her back and say How could you expect me to act nice toward you & let out all the aggression I feel towards her.....should I just ignore her.....or should I just send an email saying please don't try to contact me again?? So ridiculous!!!!

The Deep Freeze

Well, Michigan is in a deep freeze and I am ready to get out of it. All of the Arctic air is coming in from Canada, and it's just hovering around us! Right now it's 11 degrees. Supposedly it's supposed to get to 25 by Friday...Whoo Hoo!! LOL They even closed all the schools in our area for the past two days. I was surprised they cancelled the Pontiac district! Other then that I have no news! Try to stay warm!!!

It's been a while.....

Hi all! I know it's been quite a while since my last blog entry. Since then, we had Dylan's 3rd birthday party. It went really good! It was like Christmas all over again for him! Last night we went and picked up Alton's "new toy". We got a 2007 GMC Sierra pick-up. It is so nice! He got Fire Engine Red. Very sharp. Hopefully I can get a picture of it this weekend and get in on here. Last time I tried putting pics on here though I couldn't get it to work. Other then that not a whole lot has been happening. Oh ya, we're in the process of trying to make vacation plans for the summer too. We will be going to South Carolina for my sister-in-laws wedding. She having it on Hilton Head Island, so while we're there we'll vacation and hang out on the beach for a few days. I really wish we were flying, but Alton insists on driving the new truck. I can only imagine how it will be with Dylan setting in a car seat for long periods of time! I mean we are comparing a 14 hour drive or more to a less then two hour flight. Yes, we will probably break it into two days to get there and back, but it is still going to be long for Dylan. If it was just the two of us I'd say heck ya, I'm up for a road trip. LOL It's not until July, so I do have a few months to plan. I've been trying to think of new things to get for Dylan to help keep him occupied. If anybody has any ideas I'd love to hear them. Anyway, it's time to wash the dye out of my hair. I've been finding WAY too many grays lately, so I got color today while I was at the grocery store. I'm trying a reddish color for the first time. Wish me luck!!